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[personal profile] scythe_of_time
Disclaimer: This is a stream-of-consciousness rant. I'm not really trying to unpack anything yet, but writing it out helps.

don't know what it is about this week, but augh! I am cranky.  And my life hasn't been particularly bad!  In fact, things were pretty good last week!  So what changed?  I had dental work on Wednesday, but I've been irritated since Sunday (and I don't remember what happened then if this mood was triggered that day.  Feels like it's been building up for a while).  I've been getting things done like a champ, but I don't particularly want to do them.

I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed, and I know I'm not manic, but I'm super pissy? but only sometimes? I know what rage is, I know what justifiable anger is, and this is not that. This is just... resentment, perhaps. I'm sulking because I have to do everyday stuff in my extremely privileged life, like a spoiled teenager.

Part of me wants to turn to happy people and go, God, shut up shut up shut uuuuuppppp, but the rational part says to them, "good for you!" and means it. This isn't any specific person, either - I'm talking like... smiling stock photo models. What the hell? 

No one's life is sunshine and rainbows, and I know that, but am I the only one who feels like kicking a basket of puppies today (and subsequently apologizing because omigosh, puppies you don't deserve that no one does)?

Ugh! This stupid week!



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October 2012

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