scythe_of_time: (Default)
5-year-old girl, to Nolan, after he took his shirt off: "Oh. My. GOD. He's NAKED!"
scythe_of_time: (whine)
Me: So, the plan is to pick you three up and take you around touristy locations, right?

Friend: Yeah, though I don't know if your car will fit five comfortably. Will Nolan be okay at home?

Me: Wha--He's three. THREE. He can't even go to the bathroom properly, much less feed himself. WTF, Friend? Why do you think I spend 24 hours per day with him? Of course he's coming with us.

Friend: OH. Right. I keep forgetting all that.

Me: *brain asplodes*
scythe_of_time: (bloodbend)
Dear asshole,
Thank you for breaking into my car while it was in my driveway this morning.  While nothing was stolen excepting my perception of this neighborhood as a safe one, I can't help but feel that your casual rifling through my car was a violation of trust.  I understand that this is a naive and privileged way to look at the world--one's desire to be encased in an insular bubble never broken by careless teenagers certainly doesn't compare to, say, hurricane victims or sufferers in Libya--but there it is. 

The sanctity of my property has been ignored.  I am frightened, and angry with you for frightening me.  Please try to think about the person behind the material good you plan to steal.

Sincerely, Cass
scythe_of_time: (Default)
ಠ_ರೃ  Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
scythe_of_time: (whine)
Tl;DR of the carnage: guy whines about Bioware catering to those filthy homos and women in Dragon Age 2 by providing the option of "romances" with NPCs of all stripes.

"To summarize, in the case of Dragon Age 2, BioWare neglected their main demographic: The Straight Male Gamer." WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

"You have to understand that the Straight Male Gamer can't just be lumped into one catagory." Kind of like those Straight Females and Gay Gamers of Both Sexes you bash/ignore, right?

"Its ridiculous that I even have to use a term like Straight Male Gamer, when in the past I would only have to say fans..." Oh, you poor thing... Was it hard realizing this wasn't the 1950s?

"It makes things very awkward when your male companions keep making passes at you. The fact that a "No Homosexuality" option, which could have been easily implemented, is omitted just proves my point." *brb, brain breaking*

"The idea of privilege is ridiculous. The "privilege" always lies with the majority because if your goal is to make a game that will be liked by as many fans possible, then it makes sense to focus on that largest group." WHY? Why do people keep making this argument and thinking it's valid!? This is the very definition of privilege--which you refuse to acknowledge 1. exists, 2. you have it, and 3. bash repeatedly those who don't, while expecting to be catered to. Please, stop thinking of yourself and your demographic--and the accomodations that you have--is normal, and is all that deserve to exist.

"You'll win praises and 10/10's from gay activists and feminists for your great strides in promoting "equality" and eliminating "straight male privilege", but you'll have loss fans like me." And believe me when I say it is such a big loss.
scythe_of_time: (Default)
This website is a pretty cool little stop in the wide, wide www for people who want to find out generic facts on bipolar disorder (treatments, diagnoses, etc). One of their features is a list of "famous people with bipolar," as well as people they think may have had bipolar considering that some of these people are dead and a lot of others don't tend to speak publicly about their mental illnesses (bad PR).

They've split the list into these catagories for easier reading:
■ Musicians and Artists
■ Entertainers: TV and Movies
■ Writers, Authors and Poets
■ World of Sports and Miscellaneous
■ Politics and Business

Number of people in subjective, people-person fields like politics and the arts? 199
Number of people in the sciences and maths? 7

Yeaaaaaaah. Hooray for the specific genius of the disordered mind.

----

Man, I need to post about something other than bipolar disorder and how it consumes my life. How about this: my writing is coming along swimmingly and my phone died again. Oh, oh, and I also have my driver's license now, whee! Viva la freedom!
scythe_of_time: (Default)
So, the whole bit about my thyroid? Lab error.

scythe_of_time: (Default)
me: "no, I've been on birth control before, remember? when I was fifteen and they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder? and you (mom) said that I couldn't possibly be bipolar, as I was angry, angry, angry, and never depressed?"
mom: "I wanted you on birth control to manage your heavy periods."
me: "but also my moods."
mom: "..."
dad: "WHaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! she had a diagnosis that early?? ... you mean her psychotic episode could have been prevented?! or treated!?*"
mom: "I plead the second!"
me: "uh. you plead the right to bear arms?"
mom: "yes. if you push me on this, I will shoot you."

*please note that my father's progressive attitudes towards treating mental illnesses is a recent thing, and that he was slamming my mother as weak (and other things) for daring to take medication and enter counseling to manage her anxiety disorder when I was fifteen. he still, to this day, denies that he has any sort of issues and medicates his pain with ... "alternative" measures.
scythe_of_time: (adult)
DAMN IT, Bank of America is stupid... Stop losing my statements, you corrupt, bloated cesspool of a financial institution! YAAAAAAAAARGH!!
scythe_of_time: (monocle)
Thomas the Tank Engine is kind of a dick.

Elmo--the most annoying creature to spawn from TV hell--can't even read, but he has his own spin-off show, Elmo's World.  The sales of its DVDs alone net millions.

One of the main characters on Blue's Clues is a grown man with a height of roughly 5'8'' named Steve, who apparently weighs 138 pounds.

Leaving messes for other people to clean up is perfectly acceptable as long as it's part of a !*#@&$ art project.

Bert and Ernie are the inventors of subtext.
scythe_of_time: (vorpal)
In two hours I'll be flying out to Arizona to stay for an indeterminate amount of time.  Mom's out of the hospital and doing a lot better, but still needs a lot of care--especially emotionally.  My grandfather has asked me to come be a cheerleader and to bring Nolan to remind her what she has to live for.  This situation is in no way emotionally healthy for anyone concerned, but I'm going to try to do my best given the circumstances.  I don't want anything else bad to happen to my family.  Wish me luck!
scythe_of_time: (vorpal)
"It just hurts so bad," she sobbed. "You can't even imagine the pain."
"Oh, momma," I said, trying not to cry.
"I just feel like one of us has to die," she said. "Either me, or your dad, or that woman he's with... Oh, God, I want to die."
"Please don't, mom, please don't say that," I begged. "I love you. I love you and everything's going to be okay. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes," she whimpered. "I know."

But she didn't.  My mother tried to kill herself Friday night.  She swallowed one too many pills and collapsed on the floor in a pile of her own drool, waiting for death to overtake her.  A concerned friend just happened to find her and get her to the hospital in time, where I'm told she's safe. 

I suspect she'll try again.

Two weeks ago, my parents' marriage dissolved.  My mother confronted my father about his alcohol and drug abuse, saying she wasn't going to put up with it anymore.  He laughed in my mom's face and told her he'll find someone who would accept him for who he was.  My father's been declining mentally for ten years, and this, I believe, is his psychotic break.  My mom told him she still loved him and wanted him to get help, then took the kids to live with her father.

Soon after, I was told that my dad had a girlfriend and was moving in with her.

"I can't believe he found someone to replace me so fast," my mother sobbed.  "I never should have confronted him about the drugs.  I'm a bad wife."
"No, momma, no," I cried.

The hospital where my mother is staying has characterized her attachment to my father as an addiction.  She literally cannot concieve of a life without him, despite his constant physical and emotional abuse. 

I managed to escape that life via education and my own steady marraige, but now I'm being asked to return to help my mother recover as soon as my sprained ankle heals.  I don't know how long I'll be there.  I don't know if I can help her.  And I don't know what will happen to my younger brothers and sisters, who can't live on their own and certainly can't live with my dad, if she does manage to kill herself.

God help us.  God help us all.

kids

Mar. 3rd, 2009 11:35 pm
scythe_of_time: (Default)
So, my sister works as an after-school teacher at a Montessori school for kindergartners, and she often comes home with hysterical stories about the antics her kids get up to. I've been meaning to transcribe a few for a while, but this one just took the cake.

Child's Play, an Inappropriate Story, in Two Acts:

ACT I:
GIRL 1: "Teacher, teacher! R, S, and V are bugging us!"
GIRL 2: "Yeah, they're calling us boobs!"
My sister: "O rly?"

The BOYS run up.

R: "No, we weren't bugging them!!1 They're lying!"
My sister: "O rly."
S and V: "Yeah, they're lying!"
My sister: "Don't call them boobs."

The BOYS burst into giggles and run away. Exit stage left.

---

ACT II:
J: "Teacher, teacher! S said something inappropriate!"
My sister: "Again?"
J: "Yes, it was just so inappropriate. I watch PG-13 stuff sometimes, and they swear on it, but this! This was just so inappropriate! It's just so bad, I can't even say it!"
R: "It starts with B-O-O-B."
J: "It's just so inappropriate!"
My sister: "Yes, that's awfully disrespectful."
J: "No. It was inappropriate."

Exeunt.
scythe_of_time: (Default)
Wow, where have you been?

Well... Due to a combination of severe depression and sedating medication, I've been asleep these many months. Starting in early October, I was sleeping from 16-20 hours per day. This lasted until about the week before Christmas (which meant I had no shopping done, ack!), when I was forced to get up and make an appearance at family gatherings. I've been told that my erratic, emotional behavior confused and worried most of the people I came into contact with, which only makes sense considering what was going on at the time. Stress + depressive episode + holiday expectations does not a stable Cassandra make. Throw a cranky, teething Nolan into the mix and whoo boy... It's no wonder I slept rather than facing the world!

Thankfully, I've started a new ridiculously expensive medication and not only have I started waking up at a healthy time, I also enjoy my life more fully. I literally have never felt calmer or more rational in my life. I'm still a little emotionally unstable, but I suspect that will improve as my body adjusts. January and most of February have been spent desperately trying to catch up on the house and with friends, as well as marveling at the many skills Nolan learned from virtually nowhere. (He slept with me, shockingly.)

Nolan can:
* crawl like a demon (even up stairs!)
* gum solid foods
* open drawers and cabinets
* make phonetic sounds, including baba, mama, and ear-piercing shrieks
* pull himself to a standing position
* push himself to a sitting position
* find any dangerous object we've hidden or put away, especially cords
* drag objects to himself
* use the pincer grasp
* respond to his name
* play games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek

My baby is growing up so fast it makes my head spin. He's intensely attached to me, which is a good touchpoint of emotional and behaviorial development. Unfortunately, stranger anxiety is also kicking in at full gear, which adds to my parenting burden: even Aaron can't hold him for more than ten minutes without Nolan dissolving into hysterics. Since I haven't been separated from him for more than an hour for eight months, I'm nearing burn out. I'm so tightly wound, I'm like to snap. Thankfully, as Nolan is really starting to enjoy solid foods, I'll soon be able to leave him for a few hours to do... something.

Any suggestions?

records

Sep. 25th, 2008 02:33 pm
scythe_of_time: (vorpal)
So, here I am, sitting on the living floor and sorting through the massive paper piles gathered in our move two months ago when I stumble upon my box. My box is just stuffed full of records of a life that I can barely remember: old pay stubs, apartment deposit recipts, stories I've written, cell phone bills, and finally, my college diploma. And it gets me to thinkin'.

Why do I feel as if a huge part of my life is just--poof!--gone? I accomplished something! I really did! And yet... I'm wasting it now. What happened to me?

...And then Nolan spits up all over it.

Oh, yeah. That happened.

The tears were so sudden I couldn't stop them.
scythe_of_time: (Default)
Baby anatomy is so weird.

Imagine the thought process that goes into building one: start with a huge head that’s swallowed by cheeks puffy enough to store acorns for the winter. Next, affix a tiny chest interrupted by the swell of a Buddha belly. The pelvis, so often obscured by a diaper, is actually quite small for the belly and back it eventually supports; make sure it’s aligned properly. His arms and legs--sausages with joints--end in four replicas of the parents’ hands and feet with nary a wrist or ankle to be seen and must be jammed onto the body just so.

All told, the baby looks quite absurd; even comical. Thank God. I don't know what I'd do otherwise.

expression

Aug. 4th, 2008 04:12 pm
scythe_of_time: (bloon)
Cassandra: Good morning, America! Welcome to our show. First up, scientists are beginning to decode the behaviors of a rare animal, Nolanus sapiens; a pudgy, hairless creature who snares others into taking care of him. We now go live to JimBob Pepsipopsocopolus III, the author of Deadly Cute: The Sleeping Nolanus. Hello, JimBob!

Y hallo thar! )
scythe_of_time: (meh)
Lo: "F@$! those doctors for making you worry needlessly..."

A lot of people have raised concerns about the care I've recived despite having the best insurance on the face of the earth. Thank you. Ya'll are awesome, and it feels good to have the support that I do. However, I think I've misrepresented the situation...

So, to rectify this, here's the tl;dr version:
The nurse who misweighed Nolan? I still love her. Yes, really.
My former OB/GYN? YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY SIR!

I am a wall of text! Plz to be clicking on me kthxbai. )
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